I can help you live nerves free.
Back then, our brains were filled with a higher degree of negative emotions and our bodies were fuelled by the chemistry this created. After all, you didn’t survive a natural disaster, ferocious attack, deadly disease, or starvation simply by being optimistic. And even though things are a lot better for us now, our brains haven’t changed much at all, perhaps not at all.
Often, we’ll say things like, “Ugh, if that person talks to me again, I’ll die” or “I literally cannot survive another meeting at work.” And though you may see this line of thinking as harmless, your subconscious mind already feels otherwise. It is crucial to understand that the brain has no sense of humour, and only picks up on words it hears and the pictures that those words (your thoughts) create. Your mind thinks these are real concerns and it acts upon the information it’s being given, the information you’re giving it – you know ‘the dying and not surviving thing’.
I treat people who are struggling from a variety of issues and conditions, including anxiety, depression, addictions, fears, phobias, migraines, skin problems, anorexia, obesity, and more. Although the symptoms of these conditions are very real and have a serious impact on my client’s health and well-being, the cause of the issue or illness is most often psychosomatic - caused or aggravated by a mental factor such as internal conflict or stress. In other words, the symptoms are self-induced.
In this example the migraine has a role and function, to protect the daughter from the feelings associated with her father’s harsh, hurtful criticism. When the symptoms of a problem serve a purpose such as the one in our example, the problem won't resolve on its own. Part of my job is to assist my clients in altering the underlying beliefs that have led to a problem's emergence and help them change any damaging beliefs so they can move forward and live the life they deserve.
That said, people often engage in unhelpful self-talk, and unknowingly assign roles and functions to the discomfort they subsequently experience. An individual’s emotional distress frequently manifests as physical symptoms within the body. Luckily, the solution to this predicament is relatively straightforward, requiring only that we retrain ourselves to think healthier thoughts.
This tendency towards the familiar can lead to some dangerous habits too. Have you ever experienced a toxic relationship? Often, that toxicity becomes so familiar, that it becomes the reality and experience that you move towards, time and time again. In doing so, you also create a false narrative, telling yourself that this is how relationships are for you, and how they need to be, and you stay a part of that false narrative for as long as possible, sometimes forever. Humans are hard-wired to recreate what is familiar to them, we prefer what we know, even if it’s bad for us.
So how do we change our story? How do we make thoughts like ‘I’m beautiful, I’m worthy, I’m capable’ stick in our brains and become our familiar way of thinking?
Well, you can start by getting up each morning and telling yourself, ‘I’m a good person, I have a skill, I have a talent, I have something to offer the world, I’m here for a reason.’ Whatever it is you most want to hear, say it to yourself, because your mind doesn’t know what’s coming, it’s just waiting for your next instruction, so why not make those instructions the things that make you feel wonderful. Keep in mind that the words you say to yourself and the pictures you create in your head cause your body to have a physical response. Over time a physical response can become a barrier to living a normal life, so choosing your words wisely means they will work for you and not against you.
Simply thinking positive thoughts may sound easy, but here’s the thing, you must be consistent. If you’re going to tell yourself a better story and you want it to stick, you absolutely must tell yourself that story every day, always and forever - the mind learns through repetition and it is always listening.
There is almost nothing on the planet that will raise your self-esteem more than receiving someone's praise, but self-praise is even better. And because the mind likes repetition so much, when praising yourself every day, your mind thinks, ‘Here you go again with that praise, you say it every day, so it must be true.’ Similarly, if you criticise yourself every day, your mind works in the exact same way, accepting it to be the truth and helping build upon this self-deprecation as the blueprint for your preferred mode of being.
A massive part of your well-being relies on the story you’re telling yourself. Bad things will inevitably happen to you, as with everyone else, and when something bad does happen, you will inevitably attach meaning to that event. Blaming yourself, and self-criticism are harmful, but you can reverse these familiar responses and change your story from ‘I’m worthless’ to ‘I’m worthy’ and see the remarkable effect that has on your life.
That feeling of not being enough is an incredibly common issue. In fact, without any consultation, I can confidently tell my clients that there are only three things that can be wrong with them. The first is, I’m not enough. The second is, I’m different, so I can’t connect. And the third is, I really want something, like freedom from nerves and anxiety, but it isn’t available to me. A possible fourth belief is, even if there is help available, I don’t deserve it.
Ultimately what this feeling of not being enough comes down to is a lack of self-belief and the fear of rejection. From birth, we are hard-wired to find connection and avoid rejection. It’s the fear of rejection that is crippling and can cause many of the issues that I treat in my clinic. I teach my clients that the only person who could truly reject them is themselves, and that other people can only reject them if they choose to let the feeling in. ‘I am enough’ is a phrase I ask my clients to tell themselves repeatedly, because when they know they are enough and they truly believe it, everything becomes available to them.
So, if you’ve been routinely convincing yourself that you’re scared, fearful and nervous, your mind will do everything it can to make that your reality. It will make you more nervous and anxious and give rise to an even more powerful ‘inner critic’. It will keep you exactly where you tell it you want to be, as if acting on your instructions.
Although the mind resists change, it is also quite brilliant at changing through repetition. In other words, tell your mind something enough times and in the right way and it happily recodes itself to the new instruction. That’s an aspect of the mind that I take full advantage of when treating clients suffering from nerves, fears, and phobias.
I use this powerful therapy to help people get to the root cause of their emotional, physical, or cognitive issues. When I’m treating a client for the issues that are causing nerves, I believe it is crucial to help them change their way of thinking, and any unhelpful beliefs and patterns of behaviour. Concentrating on the causes rather than the symptoms vastly increases the chance of success and achieving lasting change.
Click this link to watch my short video on Rapid Transformational Therapy™ (RTT™).
COACHD hypnotherapy works with the subconscious mind, helping people deal with their past trauma and transforming any negative thoughts and beliefs into positive, empowering new ones. With COACHD Rapid Transformational Therapy™(RTT™) and Hypnotherapy, my clients learn how to transform the nerves and master confidence. I believe my therapy is the most powerful and effective treatment available for these issues. Read more about Rapid Transformational Therapy™(RTT™).