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I can help you conquer the fear.
Some of the more common symptoms associated with a fear of public speaking are:
An intense reaction to public speaking can literally incapacitate the speaker, leaving them unable to talk. It’s no wonder that the subconscious mind picks up on this reaction and actively magnifies the symptoms, even introducing new ones as a signal for you to avoid similar situations. This seeming inability to address a group of people, even small groups of one or two, can and often does have a serious impact on people's quality of life, particularly in their work and career.
For many people, their first negative experience of speaking in a group environment happens at school when being asked to read aloud or being singled out to answer a question, particularly one they didn’t know the answer to. In this case, the child may have felt nervous, embarrassed, judged, or fearful.
Often my clients have forgotten the experience that caused the fear itself, or perhaps it was a multitude of smaller events that caused the fear, but their subconscious mind has recorded the events as something that gave rise to negative feelings, including feelings of fear and anxiety. In doing so, their subconscious mind has put in place a warning system to move them away from this threat in the future, and because public speaking (or a similarly perceived situation) is now considered a threat, adrenaline is released at the mere thought of it. This emotional response then creates the physical symptoms that the individual experiences whenever they are required to speak in public.
That said, people often engage in unhelpful self-talk, and unknowingly assign roles and functions to the discomfort they subsequently experience. An individual’s emotional distress frequently manifests as physical symptoms within the body. Luckily, the solution to this predicament is relatively straightforward, requiring only that we retrain ourselves to think healthier thoughts.
In this example the migraine has a role and function, to protect the daughter from the feelings associated with her father’s harsh, hurtful criticism. When the symptoms of a problem serve a purpose such as the one in our example, the problem won't resolve on its own. Part of my job is to assist my clients in altering the underlying beliefs that have led to a problem's emergence and help them change any damaging beliefs so they can move forward and live the life they deserve.
This tendency towards the familiar can lead to some dangerous habits too. Have you ever experienced a toxic relationship? Often, that toxicity becomes so familiar, that it becomes the reality and experience that you move towards, time and time again. In doing so, you also create a false narrative, telling yourself that this is how relationships are for you, and how they need to be, and you stay a part of that false narrative for as long as possible, sometimes forever. Humans are hard-wired to recreate what is familiar to them, we prefer what we know, even if it’s bad for us.
So how do we change our story? How do we make thoughts like ‘I’m beautiful, I’m worthy, I’m capable’ stick in our brains and become our familiar way of thinking?
Well, you can start by getting up each morning and telling yourself, ‘I’m a good person, I have a skill, I have a talent, I have something to offer the world, I’m here for a reason.’ Whatever it is you most want to hear, say it to yourself, because your mind doesn’t know what’s coming, it’s just waiting for your next instruction, so why not make those instructions the things that make you feel wonderful. Keep in mind that the words you say to yourself and the pictures you create in your head cause your body to have a physical response. Over time a physical response can become a barrier to living a normal life, so choosing your words wisely means they will work for you and not against you.
Simply thinking positive thoughts may sound easy, but here’s the thing, you must be consistent. If you’re going to tell yourself a better story and you want it to stick, you absolutely must tell yourself that story every day, always and forever - the mind learns through repetition and it is always listening.
There is almost nothing on the planet that will raise your self-esteem more than receiving someone's praise, but self-praise is even better. And because the mind likes repetition so much, when praising yourself every day, your mind thinks, ‘Here you go again with that praise, you say it every day, so it must be true.’ Similarly, if you criticise yourself every day, your mind works in the exact same way, accepting it to be the truth and helping build upon this self-deprecation as the blueprint for your preferred mode of being.
A massive part of your well-being relies on the story you’re telling yourself. Bad things will inevitably happen to you, as with everyone else, and when something bad does happen, you will inevitably attach meaning to that event. Blaming yourself, and self-criticism are harmful, but you can reverse these familiar responses and change your story from ‘I’m worthless’ to ‘I’m worthy’ and see the remarkable effect that has on your life.
That feeling of not being enough is an incredibly common issue. In fact, without any consultation, I can confidently tell my clients that there are only three things that can be wrong with them. The first is, I’m not enough. The second is, I’m different, so I can’t connect. And the third is, I really want something, like freedom from nerves and anxiety, but it isn’t available to me. A possible fourth belief is, even if there is help available, I don’t deserve it.
Ultimately what this feeling of not being enough comes down to is a lack of self-belief and the fear of rejection. From birth, we are hard-wired to find connection and avoid rejection. It’s the fear of rejection that is crippling and can cause many of the issues that I treat in my clinic. I teach my clients that the only person who could truly reject them is themselves, and that other people can only reject them if they choose to let the feeling in. ‘I am enough’ is a phrase I ask my clients to tell themselves repeatedly, because when they know they are enough and they truly believe it, everything becomes available to them.
So, if you’ve been routinely convincing yourself that you’re scared, fearful and nervous, your mind will do everything it can to make that your reality. It will make you more nervous and anxious and give rise to an even more powerful ‘inner critic’. It will keep you exactly where you tell it you want to be, as if acting on your instructions.
Although the mind resists change, it is also quite brilliant at changing through repetition. In other words, tell your mind something enough times and in the right way and it happily recodes itself to the new instruction. That’s an aspect of the mind that I take full advantage of when treating clients for a fear of public speaking.
I use this powerful therapy to help people get to the root cause of their emotional, physical, or cognitive issues. When I’m treating a client for the issues that are causing a fear of public speaking, I believe it is crucial to help them change their way of thinking, and any unhelpful beliefs and patterns of behaviour. Concentrating on the causes rather than the symptoms vastly increases the chance of success and achieving lasting change.
Click this link to watch my short video on Rapid Transformational Therapyâ„¢ (RTTâ„¢).
COACHD hypnotherapy works with the subconscious mind, helping people deal with their past trauma and transforming any negative thoughts and beliefs into positive, empowering new ones. With COACHD Rapid Transformational Therapyâ„¢(RTTâ„¢) and Hypnotherapy, my clients learn how to transform fear and master confidence. I believe my therapy is the most powerful and effective treatment available for these issues. Read more about Rapid Transformational Therapyâ„¢(RTTâ„¢).
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